In Defense of Romance Novels
Every story is worth telling. For every person.
As an independent author, social media is a big part of how I market my books.
The book space on social media is also, at times, a raging cesspool of gatekeeping and bad takes.
One of the worst takes? That romance books, regardless of spice level, regardless of what subgenre they inhabit, aren’t worthy of the love they inspire. Romantasy, in particular, seems to be the target of the moment, where love stories merge with dragons and magic to tell stories that enthrall some and infuriate others.
But here’s the thing: there’s plenty of room in the book space for all kinds of stories. And if something doesn’t strike your fancy, you can simply… not read it. I’m tired of the meanness that runs rampant, especially on social media these days, and this nonsense gatekeeping over what books should be popular and what people should read is ridiculous.
Just be happy people are reading at all! Have you seen literacy rates these days? Or the fact that a big chunk of people in this place we still call a country didn’t read a single book this past calendar year?
If someone wants to read about two (or more) people kissing, let them!
And don’t think I haven’t noticed that almost every time the book part of social media gets all up in arms over stuff like this, it’s almost always genres and stories with predominantly female, and predominantly queer, creators and readers being shit on.
The misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia are not subtle, but they are gross.
Stories Matter. ALL Stories Matter.
There’s a phenomenon where, whenever a pop culture tentpole is insanely popular, or the “hot thing” of the moment, there is a sort of backlash against it. Which I understand, to a degree; part of my distaste for American football and Lord of the Rings stems from how prevalent they are. The NFL is seemingly in our faces the entire year, whether games are being played or not, and when J.R.R. Tolkein’s fantasy epic was being fashioned for Hollywood, it was impossible to miss.
When something that’s not your cup of tea is everywhere, it can be tempting to lash out. Or be snarky. Or roll your eyes and mutter something about these damn kids and walking uphill both ways to get to school.
But here’s an idea: don’t.
Romance isn’t my genre of choice. That’s not to say I’ll never partake in a love story (because, hello, I kinda wrote one). One of my favorite TV shows ever just happened to be a love story disguised as a police procedural, and romantic subplots are virtually everywhere. Even if you don’t read romance, I guarantee you’ve read romance at some point.
Fact is, love is as human as any other emotion, and so much of our lives are shaped by it. Familial love. Friendly love. Romantic love.
If the stories we read are a reflection of the human condition, both at its best and at its worst, then to completely ignore romance is short-sighted and unrealistic. For many of us, the people we fall in love with, and everything that goes with that near-universal human experience, are some of the most consequential parts of our lives. It only makes sense for our fiction to reflect that.
Sometimes, falling in love results in heartbreak. Sometimes, it doesn’t.
Sometimes, it tears us apart and puts us back together again, several times over, repeatedly. We tell stories to help others feel seen and understood, and to expect those stories to leave out such a consequential part of our own existence is baffling to me.
Plenty of Books in the Sea
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: us authors aren’t competing with each other.
No, I’m serious.
There are so many books out there these days – even more so, now that self-publishing is such a viable path – that we’re not occupying a finite space. My grandmother reading a James Patterson book doesn’t preclude her from reading a Michael Connelly book (or even one of mine).
People who buy a Sarah J. Maas book can also buy a Rebecca Yarros book. Just because you have a shelf of nothing but Stephen King books, that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to read anyone else.
It might seem like romance is everywhere, particularly when the popular title of the day is flooding your social media feed. But I promise you, there is more than enough space in the book world for you to find the books you like, the genres you love, and shout from the proverbial rooftops about them.
No one is stopping you from gushing over the intense thriller you just finished, or the poignant memoir you can’t put down. Just make sure that, while you’re singing your book’s praises, you’re not putting down anyone else’s. Stop tearing others down to lift your favorite up.
And none of this “Why is no one talking about…?” stuff. Want your thing talked about? Talk about it!
You might be surprised to see who joins you.
The Beauty of Minding One’s Own Business
One undercurrent in the anti-romance movement is this assumption that romance equals sex. More to the point, explicit depictions and descriptions of sex (I’ll have more on this in a future essay, in which I defend erotic fiction) seem to rankle certain people.
Mostly men. Mostly a certain kind of “man.”
It’s to the point now where certain politicians are moving to ban explicit material. Right, Oklahoma? Right, Project 2025?
Right, all the book bans we’re already seeing nationwide, under the guise of protecting children and promoting whatever bastardized version of “moral purity” is fashionable these days?
At this point, we’ve gone from simply not reading things that don’t interest us to making sure no one can read things that don’t interest us. And if you happen to buy the “protect the children and our morals” argument… remember who else was big on banning – and burning – books?
To me, freedom does not entail dictating what other people can or can’t do. That’s the opposite of freedom. Where I come from, minding one’s business is a great way to go about life. Sometimes, I’m convinced I’m the only person who learned that lesson growing up.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t speak up when a book expresses potentially dangerous ideas. But that’s different from outright banning or burning books. That’s different from telling people they shouldn’t like a book because you don’t like it.
Don’t like romance? Don’t read it.
But stop getting on your metaphorical high horse to scream at others who do read and enjoy that genre (and its offshoots). If love is what motivates someone to pick up a book and read it, then pick up another book and read it? We need to celebrate that, not condemn it.
Romance books of all stripes, of all spice levels, deserve to exist as much as any other book. They deserve to be read, to be loved, and if we succeed in erasing this existentially important part of the human experience, then what will the haters come after next?
Because they will always come after something.
Wonderful read. Thank you.